In the shadow of fear

We hold many relationships in our lives, some more dear to us, some more intimate than others. And every human being, in his lifetime, at some time or another, sees his intimate relationships fumble, sometimes fall. When someone or something very dear to us is lost, it brings immense pain - pain that can hardly be filled by words, books, drink or entertainment. Pain that seems to dull every aspect of who one is, completely - pain, fueled by memory, that makes one yearn and long for the ones they have lost. I often find myself wondering - what is pain, and how does it really come about? I often wonder why we human beings have learned to live with pain. Not physical pain, that is fairly unpredictable and for the most part unavoidable, but rather emotional and psychological suffering. It seems we are always dogged in our  "pursuit of happiness", which seems quite natural when one first thinks about it - since our very biology tells us that pain is something to be avoided, and pleasure is something to be sought. Or, if the pain is too disabling, we "confront it". Our idea of confronting it is to seek therapy and professional help - where the process is usually explanations of the cause of some particular form of pain (for example, "you're feeling so-and-so because you were bullied/abused, etc. etc.). Even this though, doesn't seem to solve the recurring forms of pain that we experience in our everyday living, in our myriad relationships with other human beings - because it doesn't matter the scale of the pain or hurt, it could be as small as a look, a gesture, or an unkind word - pain is pain. And no matter what the scale of the pain, it inevitably breeds destructive behaviour - fear, aggression, violence - no matter the degree of subtlety. Obviously then, it does not matter if we get rid of one particular type of pain through analysis and therapy, we haven't solved anything - because the whole process could (and in all likelihood will) happen all over again. So we haven't really then looked at how to completely throw pain away, without obviously lobotomizing ourselves to the world - which means getting rid of pain completely, without losing the ability to laugh, love and admire a beautiful sunset : is such a thing possible? Perhaps, or perhaps pain and fear are, indeed, an eternal part of the human being. But we don't know, because we hardly give our attention to such things - we are more concerned with our jobs, careers, hobbies, entertainment - most of which primarily involve being one up above someone else, which again breeds more violence, more hurt...

One in ten human beings in America (arguably one of the most prosperous nations on the planet, in terms of material and physical well-being) is on anti-depressants. Over the age of 40, that number is one in four. What is it going to take for us to start looking inward at the source of our own problems?
For all the brilliant inventions and creations of the human intellect, the depths and brilliance of which one cannot even yet fathom, why has the human being himself remained bound by fear and pain for thousands of years? Religions have tried to bring about order in the human mind, and have repeatedly failed -  because any organized religion, no matter how pure its origins, is still an idea. And while an idea can inspire change, an idea can never bring about actual change within a human being, because it isn't a living thing - and a human being is.

So how do we deal with pain? How do we boil it down to its essence, so we can taste it, touch it - uproot it from the mind so we are free of it totally? Perhaps, as the planet's "most intelligent" species, it is time we started looking at this.